


escapism

by phahbiyah



Series: shorts (less than 2000 words) [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Dark, Gen, Memories, Sad Ending, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-01 22:10:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15783114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phahbiyah/pseuds/phahbiyah
Summary: She'd rather be free.





	escapism

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy this short drabble I wrote of White Pearl :)  
> As always, please let me know if I've made a mistake in my writing.

 

“Pearl!” White Diamond drawled, standing up.

“Yes, my diamond?” she answered immediately. Her monotone voice carried through the room, echoing off the marble floor.

She hated this. White Pearl hated all of this. She hated that she was stuck inside this shell of a body, unable to do anything at all. She hated how she couldn’t speak, move, or feel anything at all. But most of all, she hated herself, for becoming this.

White Pearl was trapped inside her own body, and now she could only watch as her limbs moved on their own, being controlled by White Diamond.

“Please, fetch Pink Diamond for me, would you, dear?”

“Of course, my Diamond.”

As she traveled through the walls of the chamber, White Pearl could only think of the words Her Diamond had said.

 **_Pink Diamond_**.

The name of her previous owner resonated through her mind, jolting old memories back to life.

 

_“My Diamond!” she laughed, bowing her head._

_Pink Diamond laughed in return, nearly falling off of her giant throne. The two gems’ laughter faded, until they were left in comfortable silence. Pearl stared in awe, her eyes trailing up to the top of the 10 foot throne._

_“My Diamond, do you ever feel… upset, when sitting on your throne?” she asked, choosing her words carefully._

_Pink Diamond hummed in return. “Hm… I do, sometimes. It kind of sucks to be small, when Blue and Yellow are so huge!” Her pout suddenly became a smile, which was directed at Pearl. It warmed her heart to see Her Diamond so happy. “But, it’s fine, because I have you!”_

_Pearl was just about to say something when White Diamond’s voice interrupted her. The sound of heavy footsteps clattered on the hard floor, and she entered the chamber._

_That was the day everything changed._

 

Was she really going to meet her Diamond again? _Pink_ Diamond?

It was too good to be true. Pink Diamond was shattered 6000 years ago by Rose Quartz. Or at least, that’s what she’d been told.

White Pearl shook herself out of it. Even if she was about to meet her previous Diamond, she wouldn’t be able to do anything. She wouldn’t be able to speak, or wave, or even blink. She would only be able to stare mindlessly, and repeat the words implanted in her mind by White Diamond.

She just wished she could do _something_ , _anything_ , to show Pink Diamond she was there. That she wasn’t an empty shell.

 

_“Pearl, meet Yellow Pearl.”_

_Pearl stepped out of her hole, looking around at the dull, purple expanse that lay before her. In front of her were two gems; one a pink one with her gem on her stomach, and the other a yellow gem with her gem on her chest. She identified them both as Pink Diamond and Yellow Pearl._

_“My Diamond,” she said to Pink Diamond immediately, crossing her arms and creating a diamond shape with her hands. She looked at Yellow Pearl and bowed slightly. “Hello, Yellow Pearl.”_

_The gem known as Pink Diamond looked extremely pleased. “Hello, Pearl!” she said cheerfully, waving her hands._

_“Hello, Pearl,” the other one said. The look on her face was impossible to read, and she couldn’t tell what she was thinking._

_Pink Diamond turned back to Yellow Pearl, smiling. “Well, thank you very much for accompanying me here, Yellow Pearl! But you should go back, before Yellow gets angry.” She stifled a laugh._

_“It was an honour, My Diamond.”_

_With that, only Pink Diamond and herself were left._

 

She arrived at the place where Pink Diamond’s ship had landed, scouring the area to see if she could find her. She found Blue and Yellow Diamond, towering above the rest of the gems. She found a fusion of Garnet, an Amethyst, and a _Pearl_ she didn’t recognize there as well. She even found two humans with them. Humans never set foot on Homeworld, so this must’ve been very important.

She found all of that, yet she didn’t find Pink Diamond.

Was this some sort of trick? A final attempt to shatter White Pearl once and for all? Though, she wouldn’t mind it. She would rather die than spend another moment in this hell.

Even though Pink Diamond was nowhere to be seen, her body continued to move towards to the group.

When she arrived near them, she heard Blue Diamond whisper to Yellow Diamond. “It’s White’s Pearl.”

“Pink Diamond, your presence is required,” she said to them, a smile plastered on her face.

Blue Diamond and Yellow Diamond exchanged looks of confusion. They looked creeped out, but Pearl couldn’t blame them. They stepped closer, but she interrupted them.

“Only _Pink Diamond’s_ presence is necessary,” she repeated. Her face was emotionless, unblinking and unwavering.

She drifted in the direction of one of the humans; a short, curly-haired one.

The human looked scared. “Uh- maybe we could-”

He was suddenly interrupted when a sphere encircled them, isolating them from the rest. She brought him toward White Diamond, trying to drown out the cries she heard from the others.

 _Not again_ , she thought. _I don’t want something like this to happen again_. But she couldn’t do anything to stop this. She looked at the human child. Was this _really_ Pink Diamond? How did she become so small? And her skin become so pale?

The human banged his fists on the wall of the sphere, trying to get out.

 _It’s pointless_ , she thought bitterly. _There’s no way to get out of this_.

But then she saw a look of stern determination his face, and she was thrust back into another memory.

 

_“Now, Pearl. Play nice,” Blue Diamond commanded. “Stay here with the other Pearls while we have a meeting. This mission is of the utmost secrecy, so you must stay here.”_

_Blue Pearl curtsied. “Of course, My Diamond.”_

_Blue Diamond walked through the door, and now the three Pearls were left alone, keeping guard. An awkward silence filled the air as Blue and Yellow Pearl watched Pearl, their hard gazes on her._

_Then, Blue Pearl cleared the tension. “So… you’re Pink Diamond’s Pearl?” she asked, talking slowly._

_“Yes!” she answered immediately. She paused. “I know I’m new, and all, but… I was hoping the three of us could be friends?”_

_The others looked surprised to hear that. But Blue Pearl nodded, and she smiled at her. Yellow Pearl, on the other hand, simply scoffed at her. “As if I would be friends with someone as inexperienced as you.”_

_Oh._

_That was true. She was inexperienced as a Pearl, and she didn’t know too many things about Homeworld. Why would an experienced Pearl like Yellow Pearl want to be friends with her?_

_But Blue Pearl spoke up for her. “That isn’t nice,” she said calmly, nudging Yellow Pearl. “You could at least try to talk to her.”_

_A_ hmph _came from her. “Fine,” she said at last. “I’ll try.”_

_“Thank you!” Pearl exclaimed. She took her hands in hers, and shook them lightly. “I’ll do my best!”_

_Blue Pearl laughed softly, and Yellow Pearl looked away, embarrassed._

 

She remembered her determination, and how hard she tried to get Yellow Pearl to be he friend. At first, it was difficult. She would barely even look at her. But eventually, they warmed up to each other, to the point where they would even share jokes. They were great friends.

At last, the two of them arrived in White Diamond’s chamber. The bubbled opened, spitting the human out onto the floor, and White Pearl retreated back to her room.

She stood there in a perfect stance, observing the broken Homeworld from her window.

A million thoughts of worry for the human filled her head, but she pushed them aside and tried to focus on something else.

But she couldn’t stop thinking about White Diamond, and she suddenly remembered _that day_. The day she became _this_.

 

_“What is it, My Diamond?” she asked, her arms in the Diamond pose. She treaded slowly, careful not to anger White Diamond._

_“Pearl,” she said. “Pearl, Pearl, Pearl…”_

_Pearl swallowed. “Yes, My Diamond?”_

_“I’ve noticed that my Starlight has become more… immature.” She tapped her feet on the ground, humming. “And I believe that is because of_ you _.”_

_“M-my deepest apologizes, my Diamond. I will fix my mistakes.” Right now, Pearl was terrified. She was terrified that she might be shattered._

_“She smiled. “Good, good.” But suddenly, her expression hardened. “You_ do _know that being a Diamond’s Pearl means you must be perfect in every possible aspect, yes?”_

_“Of course, My Diamond.”_

_“Then you must be punished.”_

_No, No, no no. This couldn’t be happening. She had so much left to do. She had so much more do see. Tears suddenly streamed down her face,_

_“But do not worry, darling. You won’t be shattered.”_

_Pearl looked up her White Diamond, full of hope. “Th-thank you so much, My Diamond. You are m-merciful, and-”_

_“Something_ far worse _will happen to you.”_

_Before Pearl could even think, White Diamond thrust her hand out at her, and twisted it. Suddenly, a searing pain came from the left side of her face. She screamed out in agony, pleading for forgiveness,_

_And then suddenly, she felt-_

_Nothing._

_She felt absolutely nothing at all._

_She could only watch as White Diamond laughed. “I am in need of a new Pearl, anyway, darling.”_

 

She tried to push back the memory, but it was too late. Like a giant wave, it flooded her, reminding her of how she became like this.

To the Diamonds, it was nothing.

But to Pearl, it was everything.

**Author's Note:**

> So how was it? Didya enjoy it? Honestly, I had a great time writing this. I'm a sucker for White Pearl's past theories and stuff, so I'm glad I could add to it :)
> 
> Btw, the reason White Pearl didn't know who our Pearl was, was just because White Diamond was always secluded from the rest of the Diamonds, so she never met her Pearl, especially since she was a relatively new Pearl. And, our Pearl was given to Pink Diamond after White Pearl was, um, changed, so they never met each other. Just clearing some stuff up :)
> 
> Please leave a kudos if you liked it, and follow me on [Tumblr!](https://phahbiyah.tumblr.com/)


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